Today is the last day of Eid al-Fitr, a Muslim holiday that marks the end of the month-long fasting of Ramadam. I’m not Muslim, nor do I fast. For me, just skipping a meal is the longest fast I would ever do (you do not want to see me hangry). The closest I came to fasting was when I did a 3-day juice cleanse back in 2013. Yesterday, I thought that a different kind of fasting was finally coming to an end for me as I walked my neighborhood coffee shop to meet this guy: my dating fast.
It hasn’t even been one full week since I signed up on Hinge, a popular dating app that a couple people I know have had moderate success with. It’s also one of the dating apps that I had yet to try, and since my previous experiences with the other apps left me frustrated and still single, I thought that Hinge might be different.
I uploaded my six pictures, three selfies and three taken by friends. I also made sure that most were recent pictures as well as unfiltered (I’m better about owning up to my imperfections). My responses to Hinge’s prompts were witty and thoughtful – yes, I do mention my cookie baking project. Not long after my official debut, I started getting likes. Some were likes to my pictures, other likes to my witty and thoughtful responses, especially about the cookies. I wasn’t entirely sure how Hinge worked, but quickly figured out that I would have to like/heart one of my potential match’s pictures or prompt responses in order to start chatting. If you’re not interested, then you can push the ‘X’ button and their profile will disappear from your matches. After a few days of being on Hinge, I was matching, chatting, and enjoying the attention. I do consider myself to be a pretty good conversationalist, but only after someone else breaks the ice. One guy I started talking to wasn’t someone I would initially be attracted to, but his intro message made me laugh so I responded in my witty-fashion. After a couple of days of back & forth banter, we made a plan to meet up at a coffee shop in my neighborhood. Not only was I excited to meet him, but I was excited to tell some of my friends I hung out with the night before about this date, and ask my them if I should bring him some kahk.
Kahk (also spelled kaak), is a round biscuit with a filling of honey, ghee, and pistachios that originated in Egypt. Kahk is traditionally served to celebrate Eid al-Fitr, and also given out as gifts around other holidays. Premade store-bought varieties are available, but quite expensive so most people make their own. The biscuit itself is made with ghee, a clarified butter used in Middle Eastern dishes. Ghee isn’t that difficult to find, but I discovered that there are different types of ghee and different prices. The type of ghee I ended up buying was made with vegetable oil instead of butter, but I honestly couldn’t tell if there would be any difference since I only bought ghee a couple times before at Trader Joes. I also picked this type of ghee as it was only $5 versus some others that were over $20 (I’m on a budget!). Perhaps the cheaper ghee was the reason the biscuit part was dry and crumbly, I’m not sure. After making the biscuit dough and letting it sit at room temp for an hour, I then started the filling which was also easy to make. You roll the honey-pistachio mixture into 20 little balls (a very sticky situation), then roll the dough into 20 bigger balls, press a hole and place the little sticky ball in and cover with the dough. After you have 20 kahk balls ready, you’ll want to use a kahk mold or a fork to stamp a pattern on each one before putting them in the oven. Fun fact: a kahk mold is typically made of wood or ceramic, and is often passed down from generation to generation. Mine took about 25 minutes to bake and got nice and golden brown, but the filling did leak out in a couple of them. Before serving, dust with powdered sugar.
So how did my kahk (and date) turn out??
Ok, now is the time I should probably mention that kahk is pronounced like khakis (the pants), but without the “eee” sound.
I brought some kahk to a couple of my friends, and of course let them know that I had a date the next morning. I was for sure excited about my date and they were excited for me. When I asked if I should give him a bag of kahk, they advised that I should wait to give him cookies if there is a second date. Besides, it would have been really awkward to tell him what kind of cookies these were.
As I mentioned before, the kahk was dry and crumbly, but the filling was m-o-i-s-t which, with the powdered sugar, made it a pretty well-rounded cookie.
Before I left my house to walk down to the coffee shop he asked me to choose to meet at, I did think about bringing a bag so I could have the option to give him some of my homemade kahk if the date went well. I am so glad I decided against that because he ended up being A FUCKING NO-SHOW. I waited 30 minutes for this asshole, and he didn’t even give me the courtesy of sending me a message. FYI, we had not exchanged phone numbers, but we could still use the app in the meantime to communicate. Then again, why would you even bother being courteous when you’re deliberately standing someone up?? I got a vanilla latte (eight fuckin dollars for a 12oz?!) which was bitter both in taste and feeling, and walked home. Honestly, this type of behavior no longer surprises me as I’ve been dealing with similar shit with my job search (see What my 1.5 year job search has taught me). After I got home, I decided to wait a few hours before unmatching him to see if he would send me a message to try to redeem himself. Even if he did and perhaps apologized (not a spoiler: he didn’t), I would have told him that I was no longer interested and to politely fuck off. On the other hand, why bother wasting any more of my time or energy on this douchebag than I have already. By 4pm, I unmatched him and got back to checking out other profiles.
Not everything you do in life will turn out positive the first time you try something new. Yes, my kahk was dry and crumbly but still tasty, which makes me wonder if I did mess up with using a cheaper ghee. And yes, my date ended up being a total asshole who obviously didn’t care about my feelings or what I could have done with his er (keep it PG-ish), kahk. But if you don’t even try at all, you end up missing out on the overall experience. And, if that experience does end up being negative, then you take a lesson out of it that you can apply another time.
My next cookie is currently TBD and so is my next date. Hopefully, both will have a much better outcome.
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